http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJOn8PVBGqY&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PLF72B24B26E991AA9
There's a question I tend to ask myself at times..."When will you really start living?" Does something stop me from living the life of my dreams? No one save me myself I guess. I seem to be creating a history of unfinished businesses in my life, not so much with people as much as with my own self. I know it shouldn't be such a big deal if i start something, feel bored , decide to leave it and then experiment with something new. But it still hurts somewhere I'm not sure why. And what's more is that I don't seem to have truly learnt from it...instead I often witness myself creating more obstacles for myself, for my own journey. Not a very wise thing to do for sure. I know it but do I really understand it?
A dear friend spoke to me of a colleague of his today that he really looks upto. This person hails from a different state and has been living on his own ever since the age of 13! And not only did this guy complete his graduation and post graduation but has also learnt several interesting skills along the way, guitaring, drumming, web designing, journalism (he's been published a few times) being some of them! Oh and he's also into tune composing, singing and song writing. Wow! , I exclaimed. "How do people do it?", I wondered. My friend mentioned that compared to him he feels like a talentless idiot. And then I was reminded of how talented a kid I was back in school."What became of all that talent and all those skills?" , I questioned myself inwardly.
Just sometimes it feels like life got jinxed at 16 and there on what i witnessed was mostly a downward spiral be it academically or emotionally. Of course I'm grateful to have matured so much since then. I'm no more as dependent on others emotionally as I was then. But of course that phase taught me a lot and led me into a new direction of thinking and got me interested in reading. I wonder why end no. of times, I have thought of different things that I could possibly do to earn some extra bucks or good money from and just always I right them off without really trying them! 'What am I scared of?" , I'm forced to ask myself. Or maybe I'm just plain scared..of the idea of bearing the responsibility of my choices and hence choose to play safe all the times. Now the only problem with that is that it makes life really boring!!
Be it the idea of creating my own german youtube channel, or starting my book business almost with no cost involved or of joining an NGO to gain a sense of satisfaction or of learning some new computer skills or teaching german at some random institute, I seem to have not gotten around doing any of these things. I can't help but wonder if all i did was to grow into a thinker or even worst a dreamer who didn't quite learn the art of "Doing"!!!! I feel like more than anything I need to learn to be a doer! I need to "Do" the things that i know will assist me in changing my life. But 'How"? Life is short, I must get started now , before it's too late.
